


Falling in Love (is Hard on the Body)

by sunshineinwriting



Category: Super Junior-M
Genre: Also Changmin is a Little Shit, But That's Pretty Par for the Course, Kyuhyun is a Moron, M/M, Zhou Mi Has THE WEIRDEST SUPERPOWER EVER GUYS, Zhou Mi for Some Reason Likes Him Anyway, hopeless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-16 23:22:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1365496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineinwriting/pseuds/sunshineinwriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or, 5 times Ridiculous Superhero!Zhou Mi saves Hopeless!Kyuhyun. And one time Kyuhyun saves him back. (Sort of.) Changmin just thinks the whole situation is the funniest thing ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling in Love (is Hard on the Body)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pointlessnuance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pointlessnuance/gifts).



> I HAD A LOT OF FUN WRITING THIS. Even though I nearly missed the deadline due to RL bullshit, I'm glad I stuck with my original idea :) and I hope you like it, pointlessnuance! Please note that this is not meant to conform to any sort of normal reality. Yes. So. Enjoy!

**1\. Hanging from a bridge.**

“Well, this is embarrassing,” Kyuhyun muttered, clinging to the support beam of the walking bridge he’d been passing over, _minding his own business_ , when some moron on a bike had crashed into him, sending him flailing over the rail. He’d barely managed to grab onto the edge of the bridge before he went plummeting into the water below.

Changmin poked his head over the railing. “Yo, you okay, Kyuhyun-ah?”

“Obviously not, you miserable excuse for a friend,” Kyuhyun snapped grumpily. “I’m hanging from a bridge!” And his grip was slipping. He wasn’t exactly known for his strength and athletic prowess, and his computer bag was a heavy weight around his neck.

Changmin’s head disappeared, and Kyuhyun heard what sounded suspiciously like a foot meeting a soft body. Someone groaned. “If my friend dies because of you, I will sue to within an inch of your life,” Changmin informed the bike rider cheerfully. “I’m a lawyer, I can do it.”

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and readjusted his grip. This was really starting to hurt. And he wasn’t going to die; it wasn’t like this bridge was very far above the water, and Kyuhyun knew how to swim. But his _computer_.

There was no way Kyuhyun was dropping into the water with his computer still on his body.

“Fuck,” he grunted softly, readjusting his arms again. If he didn’t find a way to get back on the bridge soon, he might not have a choice. His grip was really starting to weaken. “Changmin-ah, is there any chance that there happens to be some rope around? Or barring that, is there any way you can reach my computer bag?”

Changmin’s head reappeared above him, looking kind of worried now. “No rope,” he reported apologetically. “And, um…” He examined the angles and tested his reach through the railing. “It doesn’t look like I can, sorry.”

“Well, shit,” Kyuhyun cursed. As a computer programmer, the worst thing that could possibly happen to him was to lose or damage his laptop.

And then another head popped over the railing. A red-haired, smiley, sparkly-mask-wearing head. “Hello!” it said. “Are you in trouble? Do you need saving?”

Kyuhyun stared. “Um, yeah,” he said. “Saving would be nice.” His sweaty hands slipped a little, and he readjusted his grip again, cursing.

“One moment, please.” The man—man? Yeah, man—plopped what looked like a large leopard-print purse onto the railing and began rummaging inside. Kyuhyun’s neck was starting to ache from being craned up at such a terrible angle, but he watched in fascination as the stranger pulled out a _bolt of cloth_ from that ridiculous bag. Not only was Kyuhyun 90% sure that there was no way a bolt of cloth could have fit inside that bag without breaking the laws of physics, but the cloth was also bright purple and kind of…shimmery. What the fuck.

“What the fuck,” Kyuhyun said.

The man quickly fashioned a loop in the fabric, knotting it tightly, and then began lowering it down. “Fit your shoulders through there, and we’ll pull you up!” he chirped. “Sir, would you mind helping me hold this end? I probably won’t be able to pull him up on my own.”

“Sure,” Changmin said dazedly. “Oi, crazy bike dude, this is your fault, you gotta help too.” Other voices made themselves known, random passersby offering their assistance, and Kyuhyun felt his cheeks flush. God, this was _so embarrassing_.

“Ready!” The mask-wearing man said, and Kyuhyun took a deep breath, released the support beam with one arm, and managed to get one shoulder through the loop in the fabric, clinging desperately with his other hand. “Okay, everybody, _pull_!”

With a grunt, Kyuhyun felt himself being raised through the air, and his legs kicked involuntarily, trying to brace himself on the bridge as he kind of smacked against it. “ _Pull_!” he heard from above him, and he rose again, hips and elbows and almost face banging against the bridge. He flailed and caught the railing with one hand, and then he felt Changmin’s hands grab him under his armpits and haul him over the side, tumbling them both onto the ground safely. A bunch of people cheered, and Kyuhyun winced, body throbbing in various places and probably permanently embarrassed.

“Phew,” the masked man said, untying the bolt of cloth and rolling it back up as Changmin helped Kyuhyun to his feet. “Well! That was exciting! You’re not hurt, are you?”

“Just my pride,” Kyuhyun muttered, wincing as he rotated his shoulders. And his joints, but who was keeping track, really.

“Good!” the man said, mouth spreading into a smile underneath his mask. It was a very nice mouth, Kyuhyun noticed, wide and well shaped, always with a hint of a smile around the edges, as though the man was constantly delighted with life. The man himself was very nice, tall and all leg, dressed in what looked to be very fashionable clothing. Kyuhyun wouldn’t know. His idea of fashion was to wear a shirt without a cartoon character or snarky saying on the front.

“Um,” Kyuhyun said, and looked away from those nice legs. “What’s your name? And why are you wearing a mask?”

“Oh, I’m Gentleman Mimi!” the man said cheerfully. “And I’m wearing the mask because you can’t reveal a superhero’s identity!”

Kyuhyun stared. Changmin gave a little snort of laughter beside him. “Uh,” he said, “O…kay.” He glanced at the purse slung over Gentleman Mimi’s shoulder. Large as it was, it was not large enough to hold the bolt of cloth that had saved his life. Maybe Gentleman Mimi’s power was to create things out of thin air? Or…out of the purse, he guessed? But then why not conjure regular rope, or a harness or something? Kyuhyun was _very_ confused. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

“You’re very welcome,” Gentleman Mimi said earnestly. “And now I have to go, before the authorities get here. It was nice meeting you!” And he hurried off into the crowd, soon blending in and vanishing into Seoul.

Kyuhyun and Changmin stared after him. “A superhero, huh,” Changmin remarked. “He seems really…ordinary, compared to, like, what they have in the States.” Changmin was an Avengers fan.

“Well, if he’s a mutant, he could seem totally normal until he uses his powers,” Kyuhyun replied, who was more of an X-Men fan himself. He grinned. “Wow. I got saved by a superhero. Kinda embarrassing, but pretty cool, you have to admit.”

Changmin rolled his eyes and tugged on his arm. “C’mon, o damsel in distress, let’s go get dinner before you fall into a manhole or something.”

 

**2\. Caught in a store robbery.**

“This is incredibly undignified,” Kyuhyun muttered, crouching on the floor underneath a café table as some teenager held up the place for the money in the cash register and, apparently, a salted caramel frappuccino with four extra shots of espresso. From the strain in his voice, he _really_ didn’t need more stress on his adrenal glands.

But the gun was real, as the wannabe felon had already demonstrated, and so Kyuhyun crouched on the floor, wondering if there was any chance that he could reach up and grab his laptop from its precarious place on the tabletop above him.

Changmin glared at him from under the table next to his, reading his mind with his freaky best friend powers and silently promising far worse than bullet wounds if he tried.

The door tinkled as someone walked through, and Kyuhyun glanced over to see a pair of _very_ long legs, clad in dark blue skinny jeans, stop in front of him.

“I’d like a medium iced soy decaf macchiato with a shot of cinnamon dolce, please,” a light tenor said, and Kyuhyun looked aaallll the way up those very long legs to see…the dude who’d saved him on the bridge.

“Hey, you’re the dude who saved me on the bridge!” he said, but his comment was lost as the gunman whirled around, gun aimed.

The superhero (?) whipped out a mirror from his oversized manpurse (a different color than the last one, Kyuhyun noted vaguely) and, somehow, managed to deflect the light from one of the overhead track lights directly into the kid’s eyes. When the guy cursed and flinched, a swift karate chop to his wrist had the gun falling to the floor and a strategically placed knee to the jewels had the wielder following it in short order. The superhero casually nudged the gun away with his foot (were those heeled boots?) and remarked, “ _Not_ the way to ask for your morning coffee.”

The café-goers began to stand now that the danger was over, and one man agreed to sit on the would-be robber’s back until the cops arrived. “Hey,” Kyuhyun said, standing awkwardly by the superhero’s shoulder. “You’re, uh—”

The man turned and smiled widely behind his mask. “Oh, hello! You’re the man from the bridge a week ago, aren’t you? It’s nice to see you again!”

“Uh, yeah,” Kyuhyun managed, reeling a little from the force of that smile. “Yeah, I just wanted to say thanks again, I guess. Um…what’s your name again?” Changmin snorted from behind Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun ignored his traitor of a best friend.

“I’m Gentleman Mimi!” the man said, beaming and holding out his hand. “It’s very nice to see you again!”

“Yeah,” Kyuhyun replied, shaking it carefully. “You too. I’m Cho Kyuhyun.” Of course he would have a secret identity; nothing in Kyuhyun’s life was that easy, especially not when he tried to score a date out of a superhero.

(Not that he was, you know, trying. He’d settle for a name and number.)

“So, uh,” Kyuhyun said, casting around for something to talk about, “what _is_ your superpower, if I may ask?”

“Oh,” Gentleman Mimi said, corners of his mouth turning up, “I can conjure fashion accessories!”

Kyuhyun stared. “What,” he said.

“Yes!” Gentleman Mimi said. “I can do it in my bare hands, but I’ve figured out that it freaks people out less if I use the Gentleman’s Purse™.”

Kyuhyun could hear the capital letters. “O…kay,” he said slowly, “so that’s why you used a bolt of cloth to pull me up from the bridge.”

Gentleman Mimi nodded brightly. “It’s a really useful talent. I’m not, you know, super active, not like the celebrity superheroes, but I do my best when I see things happening. Oh! Thank you, my dear,” he said, startled, when the barista, a little teary, appeared at his elbow to hand him what looked like his drink order. “Here…no, please, I should pay you…well, thank you,” Gentleman Mimi said, flustered as the girl adamantly refused payment and disappeared behind the counter again.

The superhero gave Kyuhyun another bright smile and took a sip of his drink. “Well, I guess I’d better be off! The police aren’t too happy with, you know, civilians interfering in things like this. It was nice seeing you again, Cho Kyuhyun! Maybe we’ll meet again!”

And Kyuhyun watched, tongue-tied, as a very pert (albeit tiny) butt in tight skinny jeans walked away from him.

“So gay,” Changmin remarked at his shoulder.

“So hot,” Kyuhyun replied, turning and flopping back in his seat as the police finally arrived.

Changmin gave him an unimpressed look. “ _You’re_ gay.”

“Well-spotted,” Kyuhyun agreed, staring moodily at his computer screen and the lines of code blinking at him. “Did you forget my incredibly awkward and embarrassing teenaged self coming out to you? You swore you were going to torment me for the rest of my life.”

Changmin grinned reminiscently. “How could I possibly? That was absolute _gold_.”

“I’m glad my suffering provides amusement,” Kyuhyun grumbled, and turned to give a cop his statement.

 

**3\. Fallen into the river.**

Kyuhyun gasped and sputtered, rolling over to cough out what seemed like a gallon of disgusting river water. He hacked and wheezed, clinging to the ground in true thankfulness to still be alive, because he could swim but he definitely did not have the strength to combat that current.

He rolled over and sat up as hands pounded on his back, voices shouting and someone draping a coat over his shoulders. But nothing registered to Kyuhyun except for the man sitting next to him, just as wet and bedraggled as he was, except in haute couture designer clothing instead of jeans and a T-shirt off the rack.

“What the fuck?” he rasped out hoarsely, and coughed some more.

Gentleman Mimi smiled sheepishly and pushed his wet hair out of his face. His mask had mysteriously managed to stay on as he, apparently, _dived into the flowing river to save Kyuhyun from drowning._ “Hello again.”

“Do you have some sort of distress signal planted on me? Be honest,” Kyuhyun demanded. “Because there are honestly better ways of getting to know each other.”

“Ah, no,” Gentleman Mimi said, busying himself with untying a golden cord from around his waist—apparently the method of rescue this time, with the rest of the long coil lying trampled in the mud underneath the onlookers’ feet. Kyuhyun might be projecting just a little, but maybe (maybe?) the superhero’s cheeks and the tips of his ears were flushed from more than just the cold water. “I swear, these are all innocent happenstance. I just happen to be in the right place at the right time!” He smiled at Kyuhyun, who blinked slowly.

“Well,” he said, never one to beat around the bush when shamelessly throwing himself at it was so much simpler, “I feel like I should thank you. Can I take you out to dinner?”

“Oh!” Gentleman Mimi said, and his eyes grew wide behind his mask, face now definitely pinker than it had been before. “Um, um, um, maybe next time? I have a, uh, thing, to do, yes—” And the gangly man got to his feet with a bit of flailing from his long limbs, scooped up his manpurse, and hurried off into the crowd.

“Fail,” Changmin observed, before crushing Kyuhyun in a tight hug that said without words how worried he’d been. “I bet you didn’t even get his number, did you.”

Kyuhyun sighed and let his head fall back against his friend’s shoulder. “Yeah…still working on that.”

 

**4\. Herd of rampaging fangirls.**

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME,” Kyuhyun roared into this phone, clutching his computer bag desperately to his chest as the raging mob around him screamed and roared, dragging him inexorably forward against his will. “WHY AM I OUT HERE HEECHUL I HATE YOU.”

“Get me my coffee or your Starcraft trophies will be in pieces when you come back,” Kyuhyun’s ~~SATANIC BOSS FROM HELL~~ direct supervisor replied carelessly. He was probably cleaning his nails or some such thing, Kyuhyun fumed silently as the line went dead with a click and he nearly lost his footing as a preteen girl flung herself forward with a scream of joy.

“Why is this my life!” he shouted, the sound getting swallowed up in the seething mass of pubescent estrogen surrounding him.

Someone grabbed his arm, and Kyuhyun turned with teeth bared, ready to do battle, only to blink at the sight of a beaming Gentleman Mimi.

“Hello!” the man shouted over the noise of the crowd. “Fancy seeing you here! I didn’t know you liked this group!”

“I don’t even know their name!” Kyuhyun shouted back. “And if I’d known they were doing a promotional concert in this part of town I would be on the other side of the city!” He cursed as he was jostled roughly, nearly losing his balance. He fought to keep his feet, suddenly panicked about falling in this mass of people.

Gentleman Mimi helped him back up with a surprisingly strong grip on his arm and shoved a hand in his manpurse. “Here!” he shouted, handing Kyuhyun an oddly-shaped…lightstick thingy? Kyuhyun scowled at it, not feeling very charitable toward the world at the moment, and then squawked as something else was forced onto his head. “There,” Mimi shouted, looking pleased, “now we blend in!”

“Did you just pull _fan products_ out of your manpurse?” Kyuhyun shouted, appalled.

Gentleman Mimi gave him a wide-eyed look, equally appalled. “It is not a _manpurse_ ,” he shouted back, clutching the bag in question close with a wounded expression. “This is the Gentleman’s Purse™, I’ll have you know!”

Again, Kyuhyun could hear the capital letters. “It’s a manpurse,” he scowled, and then was squashed against the other man as all of a sudden the crowd became even more tightly packed together.

“Come on,” Gentleman Mimi said, and took Kyuhyun’s wrist. Startled by the warm touch of skin on skin, Kyuhyun followed, wriggling his way through the crowd with difficulty until he found himself in a tiny side street. More of an alleyway, really, he thought, brushing himself down and—oops—breaking the light grip Gentleman Mimi had had on his arm.

“Thank you,” he said, uncomfortable now that they were alone for the first time ever, actually speaking face to face without anyone else nearby (unless you counted the screaming fangirls streaming by the alley, which Kyuhyun didn’t, because there could be a firefight taking place right now and those girls would never know).

“Um, you’re welcome,” Gentleman Mimi said, clasping his hands behind his back and rocking a little on his feet. “Well, I guess we should head this way?” He gestured toward the other end of the ally, where Kyuhyun could see cars whizzing past on the next street over.

“Right,” he replied, and they began walking slowly in that direction, sneaking glances at each other. Kyuhyun looked down at his hands, trying to think of something to say, and— “Oh!” he said, and held out the lightstick. “And here, this too.” He pulled off the headband thing, inwardly shuddering slightly at how… _purple_ it was.

“Oh, thank you,” Gentleman Mimi smiled, taking the items and tucking them back into his manpurse. “Um, so, I guess I’ll see you next time?” he asked as they reached the street, turning to look at Kyuhyun.

“I don’t suppose I could get your number?” Kyuhyun blurted out, but fuck pride, go big or go home and all that. He did blush a little, and shuffle his feet. “Uh, I’d like to see you when my life’s _not_ in imminent danger, you know. So…yeah? Or I could give you mine…”

“Sorry,” Gentleman Mimi said, a sweet smile playing around his mouth even as his eyes were apologetic. “Maybe next time.” He gave a little wave and headed down the street.

Well, Kyuhyun thought pragmatically, at least Changmin hadn’t been there to see him crash and burn again.

Then he checked his watch and cursed, looking frantically around for the nearest coffeeshop.

 

**5\. Tied to the train tracks.**

Something was…off. Kyuhyun wasn’t sure what, until the uncomfortableness of his body registered and his eyes flew open.

“What the fuck?” he said, and craned his neck around. “What the _fuck_ ,” he said.

Kyuhyun was tied to a set of train tracks. With rope. Like an old villain from an ‘80s comic book.

Kyuhyun let his head fall back with a groan. “What is my _life_.”

Time passed slowly. Kyuhyun tried shouting at first, but nobody was around and his voice quickly grew hoarse. The thing was, he didn’t even think that these train tracks were in use; they were old and worn, the iron rusted. So either the person who’d tied him up here had a plan, or it was the most roundabout way of starving him to death ever.

“It’s Changmin,” he muttered to himself, testing the strength of the ropes. “Definitely Changmin.” And if it was Changmin, it meant he had a plan. And it probably didn’t mean anything good for Kyuhyun.

“Um,” a voice said uncertainly, and Kyuhyun froze. “You really do end up in the weirdest of situations.”

Kyuhyun closed his eyes and groaned. _Fucking Changmin_. “This has _nothing_ to do with me,” he told the blue sky above him. “Seriously. This time is completely due to my ridiculous best friend who apparently has nothing against drugging me with sleeping pills and then kidnapping me and tying me to a train track.”

Gentleman Mimi squatted down next to him, pretty mouth smiling under his mask. “Well, at least this is an easy fix.” He reached into his manpurse and pulled out a pair of scissors, beginning to cut determinedly away at the rope.

Kyuhyun lay silent and still, cursing Changmin in the longest, most invective-filled ways he could think of. He did _not_ need help getting Gentleman Mimi’s attention, and God knows having to _save_ him all the time wasn’t going to do the trick!

Finally one side of the ropes snapped free, and Kyuhyun sighed with relief, sitting up and holding the rope taut as Gentleman Mimi cut his legs loose. Then he was free, and he got to his feet awkwardly, brushing himself down.

“I feel kind of bad for making you save me all the time,” he said, laughing a little embarrassedly. “I swear, I can take care of myself most of the time.”

“Well, in your defense, at least you can go about a month without getting into trouble,” Gentleman Mimi laughed. “One of my friends, he’s in trouble every other _week_.”

“…And you save him too, huh?” Kyuhyun asked, tamping down a weird flash of jealousy.

“Oh, no,” Gentleman Mimi waved his hand, “I let his boyfriend do it.”

“Oh.” Kyuhyun grinned a little at the ground.

“So…” Mimi said, and Kyuhyun looked up. “Let’s head back into the city? We’re pretty far out, so it’ll take us a while.”

“Yeah,” Kyuhyun smiled, “yeah, that sounds good.”

 

**+1. Finding the Gentleman’s Purse™.**

Kyuhyun stopped, and blinked. Then he backtracked. Sitting innocuously on the low wall at the edge of the park, looking as though its owner had merely stepped away for a moment, sat the Gentleman’s Purse™.

Or at least, Kyuhyun thought it was the Gentleman’s Purse™. Or one of them, anyway. He wasn’t exactly a connoisseur of fashion, or even particularly observant, so it was entirely possible that this was a different purse entirely. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to hang around to see who came back for it, right…?

Except nobody did, and after fifteen minutes Kyuhyun got up his courage to look inside. His heart jumped at the familiar sight of fashion accessories, along with…yes! A wallet.

Then he hesitated. Gentleman Mimi had gone to great lengths to protect his identity. Should he even look? But then how else was he supposed to return it to him, Kyuhyun reasoned, and carefully opened the wallet.

There was a driver’s license, along with an alien registration card, both made out to Zhou Mi. Gentleman Mimi’s smiling face— _God, he’s even more handsome now_ —stared up at Kyuhyun from the laminated plastic.

“Well, shit,” Kyuhyun mumbled admiringly, and pulled out his phone.

Zhou Mi picked up on the second ring with a breathless “Hello?”

Kyuhyun blinked, for some reason surprised that he had answered. “Hi, is this Zhou Mi?” He probably bungled the pronunciation; Wang-laoshi’s freshman Chinese 101 class had been a long time ago.

“Yes, who is this?” Zhou Mi asked, sounding a little distracted.

“I, um, found your purse?” Kyuhyun said tentatively. “You left it in the park.”

“Oh my god! Thank you, thank you _so_ much!” Zhou Mi gushed, words nearly tripping over themselves. “Are you still there? I’ll come back for it right now!”

“Okay,” Kyuhyun agreed helplessly. “I’m at the wall where you were sitting, I assume.”

“I’ll be there very soon!” Zhou Mi said, and hung up.

Kyuhyun sat down next to the manpurse and twisted his fingers together, waiting.

It really wasn’t very long before he saw Zhou Mi’s lanky figure hurrying down the sidewalk. The other man slowed when he saw Kyuhyun, and Kyuhyun stood, heart hammering, as Zhou Mi finally stopped a good three feet away.

“I, uh, recognized it,” Kyuhyun said. His stomach was rolling now. “And I thought that you’d rather have your purse back than keep me in the dark, so, uh.” He scrubbed his slightly sweaty hands on his thighs. “I’m sorry if I did the wrong thing?”

Zhou Mi finally smiled and took a step forward. “No. I think you did the right thing.” He leaned past Kyuhyun and picked up his manpurse, slinging it over his shoulder before looking Kyuhyun in the eye again. “And I was wondering.”

“Yeah?” Kyuhyun asked, swallowing hard and looking up into that pretty, pretty face.

Zhou Mi smiled, eyes crinkling in delight. “Do you want to go out for dinner sometime?”


End file.
